Amsterdam is considered to have some of the most liberal sex laws in the world. Now while I’ve come across many strange sexual situations during my time as an Amsterdam escort, I’ve certainly never come across anything quite as weird as some of the American laws I’m going to tell you about. If these laws were made legal in the Netherlands, I’d definitely find myself in prison without chance of parole.
Let’s start with Arizona – apparently it’s illegal to have more than 2 dildos in the same house. That law would certainly catch out most of the escorts in Amsterdam, although they’d probably do a little better in Texas, as you’re allowed to own up to 6 of the sex toys in this state.
In Oregan it’s illegal for more than 2 people to share a public toilet stall. That would certainly put a stop to all those young ladies squashing into toilet cubicles in nightclubs all over Amsterdam on a Saturday night. It’s also illegal to lie down in a toilet cubicle, but as I can’t even see how that’s possible, we’ll forget about that one.
Now in Montana it’s illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in anything other than in the missionary position – it seems like a few of my previous boyfriends may originally be from Maryland.
In Alabama it’s legal to marry a close relative, while in Louisiana, necrophilia is legal. There’s obviously something very wrong in these Southern states.
Oral sex and anal sex are both illegal in Pennsylvania, while in Kansas sodomy includes oral sex and is also illegal, but penetration of the anus with a finger is allowed in certain circumstances. They don’t actually say what the special circumstances are – so we’ll have to just leave that to the imagination.
But my overriding thought about all of the above is who polices these laws and who thought them up in the first place?